


jump into the void

by IllBeRightBack



Category: Slipknot (Band)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Blow Jobs, Character Death, Corpse Desecration, Corpses, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dead People, Decapitation, Fucked Up, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Murder, Necrophilia, and i am probably overtagging it because i dont want there to be any misunderstanding, i banged this out in like an hour, i cannot stress enough that this is gross graphic and problematic, the murder is only referenced ambiguously in this fic but ill tag it just incase
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 10:06:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,387
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29276661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IllBeRightBack/pseuds/IllBeRightBack
Summary: go check the tags again and be sure you want to read this im not putting up with anti bullshit, but actual feedback is much appreciated, thanks for reading[title from the acid bath song "the blue"]
Relationships: Shawn Crahan/Sid Wilson
Comments: 5
Kudos: 14





	jump into the void

**Author's Note:**

> go check the tags again and be sure you want to read this im not putting up with anti bullshit, but actual feedback is much appreciated, thanks for reading
> 
> [title from the acid bath song "the blue"]

Sid’s mouth was still warm despite his lips being blue, but it was a hot August day and Shawn’s air conditioner had pissed out on him again, so it wasn’t all that surprising. The air was sticky and stagnant, almost suffocating, and sweat was perpetually beading on his forehead.

Sid’s mouth was still wet. Wetter than usual, actually, his saliva now combined with blood, because Shawn had laid him down on the floor when he had administered the first shallow laceration to his neck. 

He had no memory of what happened in the time between the first and final cut. He saw the first trickle of blood where his neck met his head, and then it was off. 

Shawn worked hard with two thick fingers in Sid’s mouth to keep his jaw in such a position that he wouldn’t get any teeth scraping his cock. 

He’d been at this for nearly an hour now.

He would get a few good, smooth strokes into Sid’s mouth, then a few more, feeling that coil inside him get tighter and tighter, then his hands would start shaking and that would make his fingers in Sid’s mouth twitch and fail him. 

The sudden sensation of teeth against his sensitive length was jarring and he let out a displeased gasp, halting his movements every time it happened and letting out an angry  _ “fuck’s sake”  _ under his breath.

He looked down at Sid’s head, cock halted halfway in his mouth and sighed. His lips were blue, his short, shaggy hair was soft when Shawn stroked a thumb over it absentmindedly, his eyes weren’t cloudy yet, just the tiniest bit glazed, and he was even paler than he usually was. 

He looked ethereal and uncanny at the same time. 

From this angle, the reality of the situation didn’t look as horrifying as it really was. He could feel the liquid dripping from Sid’s neck wound and pooling between his thighs, and there was a little bit of blood mixed with spit on Shawn’s cock, but he couldn’t see the gore underneath Sid’s head when he was looking down at him like this. 

The rest of Sid was still in the garage. _ Out of sight, out of mind. _ When he closed his eyes and started sliding into Sid’s mouth again, he could almost trick himself into believing Sid was doing this while alive and well, if it weren’t for the lack of suction.

He held his fingers in Sid’s mouth steady this time, holding his jaw in position so tight he feared he was on the verge of breaking it, and slipping a third finger inside to work under Sid’s tongue and press it up against the underside of his cock as he slid in again.

“Fucking Christ,” Shawn stuttered out, knuckles white while his whole body contracted and his eyes rolled back in his head so hard it hurt.

That was the stroke that finally pushed him over the edge and he spilled into Sid’s mouth, gasping with shaky breaths, feeling the head of his cock hit the back as Sid’s throat as he reflexively rammed himself in as far as he could.

The usual satisfying choking sounds weren’t present this time and it felt bizarre.

He closed his eyes, breathing deeply while his cock was softening in the mutilated boy’s mouth.

Everything was foggy and fuzzy like a dream, and no matter how hard he tried to ground himself, he still felt like he was engulfed in clouds.

Nothing felt real or tangible.

~

Standing over Sid’s body in the garage where he left it.

He lost time again. His mind had blanked out, and he didn’t remember what he had done between coming in Sid’s mouth and standing with bare feet on the concrete floor of his garage, looking at where Sid’s body (minus the head) was unceremoniously splayed on his shitty old couch that was against the far wall.

The air had become even heavier, feeling like it was sticking to the inside of his lungs every time he inhaled, and clinging and fighting not to be expelled every time he exhaled.

He approached the body cautiously, like he would a wild animal. His heart hammered in his chest and his mouth became dry.

_ If this thing twitches, I’m burning the fucking house down. _

It had been quite the clean up afterward due to both Sid’s struggle and his bleeding when his head was removed.

It was positively uncanny, the way this sheet-white corpse was seated. 

Enough to make him wonder if any of this had been worth it. His guts twisted and dissolved into a thousand live worms squirming around inside of him just thinking about that.

Because it was too late to take it back now, and that mortified him.

No. It was worth it. He  _ made it _ worth it, and he told himself he had no regrets. That was the way it had to be, because if it wasn’t, he was fucked, and the only thing left for him to do would be to eat a bullet about it.

He moved slowly, still feeling like he was encompassed in the thick liquid of a dream. Using his foot, he timidly nudged the corpse’s legs apart. 

_ Sid. Sid’s legs. It’s still Sid. _

Getting sucked off by Sid had been a fantasy of his for so long, and it was finally recognized... but even  _ more _ than that, Shawn had endlessly dreamed about being allowed to return the favor.

His knees ached with age when they clumsily hit the concrete floor between Sid’s thighs. 

He hadn’t undressed his body fully because he grew too excited in the process, so Sid was still wearing his boxers and tank top.

He was so pale. So divine looking. As long as Shawn didn’t look any higher than Sid’s chest, he was in heaven.

He swallowed hard, inhaled deeply, then reached forward with slightly trembling hands to hook his fingers into the waistband of Sid’s boxers. Another gulp, then slow motions to pull them down. The pale blue fabric slid easily against his soft skin and Shawn noted the boxers he was wearing were probably a size too big for him.

He slid them halfway down his thighs, focusing hard on one loose thread, then allowing himself to glance up at Sid’s dead cock.

Shawn exhaled deeply. He didn’t know what he was expecting, but it was certainly less terrifying than whatever abstract horror his mind was telling him was going to be underneath Sid’s clothes.

Sid’s cock was limp between where his thighs had been pulled open and Shawn impulsively moved his head closer to it before slamming his head down onto Sid’s boxer clad thigh and inhaling the scent deeply. 

He didn’t know what the fuck was wrong with him, there was no one around to see it, but he felt as if there was a firing squad behind him. He had to fucking relax. He needed to come back to earth.

It was just him in here. Just him and his vacant partner. 

He inhaled deeply again, the smell of fabric softener filling his nose. 

He could do it. No one could see him. Not even Sid, with his eyes being in the other room. 

He could have just a little bit…

He glanced back at Sid’s groin up through his eyelashes from where he was still inhaling the scent of Sid’s boxers.

He could hear his heart pounding in his ears and it had never been this loud before. 

He inched his head closer, then froze. Then closer. Then closer again.

He slowly let his tongue pass his lips and closed his eyes, sighing shakily as it finally made contact with Sid’s cock. It felt like an electric shock and he lurched his face closer, letting his tongue run up and down the unmoving length before swallowing it whole. 

He could finally taste Sid, but there was no warmth, no twitching, no firmness. 

Nothing to indicate that Sid was enjoying it. No tiny, desperate whispers or gasps of pleasure that he knew in his mind Sid would have made  _ if he had just let him do this. _

There was nothing, and he reaped no joy from what he had desired for so long. 

Shawn began to panic.  It hadn’t been worth it.

**Author's Note:**

> tumblr: @IllBeRightBackAo3


End file.
